Static

Static, white noise, dust, and webs.

This fog is strange and time is shuffling drunkenly down a steep hill,  it falls from time to time rolling a bit before stopping to pick itself back up to continue the staggering shuffle onward.

My thoughts are still more fluid than normal. Like a freshly de-fragged computer. The biggest negative seems to be the extreme exhaustion.
  I need rest.
I must recharge.

You cannot hope to resurface so quickly from the depths of your own mind

Recollection

Tell me a story oh Weaver of dreams. Landscaper of nightmares.
architect of illusion.
bring me visions of things that are, things that could be,  and of things that never were.
Terrify me, astound me, let my jaw hang loose.
My eyes are scared to close,  for missing any moment of this would be unthinkable.
As night passes into the light of day so shall these visions. No matter the beauty, These too shall be forgotten.

Stuck

Soft as the wind,
The lights blow through empty space.

Swirling towards the shore of weighty whites, and wholesome might.

Bellowing with the beast a voice drifts along.

"I take a price, for thrice the evening has bested a good soul. But free is my endless flight."

Quiet is the following and trailing behind is another we can not see. For when sense is good and proper, no mind can find peace.

A place of pieces fit into beauty. May the wind find rest on yet another shore and drift not into silence but into the heart of the earth to turn and sit and morph into more or less the perfect thing.

Me oh...

What a time to wake again,
taking with me my old friend.

What is real, I have to think. Stop, no, yes.
I am here, this is real.

Words slink through my head. Melting slowly into the folds of my mind, cold like the dripping Popsicles of summers gone.

Vision is bent and bright and new, flickering images focus into reality and I blink faster as if I can tune into reality.

Hopeless begins to take its grip and my vision again begins to vibrate, thoughts come and go like waves, my eyes loll around attempting to stay centered.

For but a moment fear grips my chest, hot with panic I scream internally as reality suddenly cracks and a splinters, and begins the fall.

Pulled down fast, impossibly fast. Like gravity, no, faster. Like a force stronger than anything I dare imagine. Bent and twisted, laws of nature no longer exist and I feel my body stretched out longer and longer. I am a thin rope of matter flying through a dark void into an even darker rumbling pit of energy, hungry, mindless, energy.

I decide to let go, what is the worst that could...

SNAP

I sit, still, quiet, unblinking. The light of the room fades to normal as if recovering from a sudden flash of a camera. Normality seems to have arrived in the flick of a thought.

Testing the waters I blink again and return my focus to the seemingly restored world around me. Nobody seems to have noticed my lapse of sanity, my shuffling of reality...

Back to work I suppose.

Moments

Pinpoints of time pushed into the walls of my soul. Like a thumbtack holding a worn and torn scrap of paper to a telephone pole. The message is long forgotten, a ghost of a word of word of a thought of a spark of inspiration.
 Points so small the markings they leave behind are nearly erased and swept into the sea of other lost moments.

A strangers smile as you pass them on a sidewalk. The slight smell of the sea on her skin as she takes the empty seat next to you. The familiar sound of a wheel turning to an inevitable stop. The metallic hint of blood running down your throat.
Between the highest peaks of excitement and ecstasy, and the lowest trenches of confusion and chaotic desperation. Somewhere within, right in the middle, lie these small insignificant moments.


Though we may choose to define ourselves on the big moments, we may choose to parade them around,  to feel accomplished, awe inspired, giddy with glee. Other times there feels as if the choice is thrust upon us, shadowed with feelings deeper than our own understanding.
Despite this, all this, the moments of the between, the pin pricks of time forgotten. These moments are the real foundation, the real experience, the real definition of life. Next time you are sitting waiting for the bus, set aside your highs and lows. Power off your device and close your eyes. Let time slip away, allow life to flow forth, through, to writhe within you.

Let the moments be moments and time be time. We are not simply a collection of experience, we just could be maybe, if you allow it...

 We could just BE

Let it become

Let it become, like the rain.
Let it fall, and flow again.

Like a glass marble, the mind reflects the world around it.
Cutting ribbons of thought, from spools of knowledge.
Colors reflected from world's around .

Collectively it is now...
Unorganized and unwound, frayed at the edges and tossed to the side.

This is a new age of thought, a dawn of reflection turned inward.
The future is revealed within.

Dare to challenge, to change, to feel.
To take apart and reject what is real.
For what is lost is always found, when mirrors are but turned around.

Drawing in the dark

In a dark room, drifting off into places unseen. With tools of life in hand I begin to work, fingers led across blank pages by forces unseen. Feverishly scratching away, a dark mass is forming just beyond my line of sight. Pushing forward till I am told without words to stop. I reveal the unseen with a burst of light, and before my eyes stands the formless, night loving, figure.

Let's get Frank

Expose yourself, strip away the plastic and let the sun shine down on your beautiful new self.
Let the expressions of your former life melt in the radiant light of the now.
Time burns a hole in the wrist of those who try to capture it's essence.
Live loose, laugh free, love who you are and who you used to be. Now come, dance away the dark with me.

Hands will Shape, Hearts will Shake

Icy like the sweat that wakes me from my dreams,
Salty like skin pushed under by the tides,
Cracked like the play dough left out and forgotten.

Hanging on to things that don't exist has left me exhausted.
I push through the shell of who I once was,
Pieces of self fall to the earth and crumble like the dust I am.

Organic and old, ordinary and original.
This isn't what you think,
Your thoughts far from this, far from us, further than we could ever have imagined.

Hot like the days I'll never forget, lost in the melting pot of mindfulness.
Sweet like the beauty that was held beyond reason, foolish was I.
Malleable like the future we hold, these hands will shape us all.

What I want does not matter

What I want does not matter. 
What I need will make its way here. 
Who I need is yet to be seen, but hopes are falling, and fears are crawling. 
This die rolls not for me, it's chaotic tumbling decides matters of fate with little effort, and no care to its beholder. Fate is a fickle enchantress,  giving you a taste of power before cutting you down to size. 
A taste of worldly pleasure before inflicting a universe of pain.

Take note, this is a test.

Take note, this is a test.
Test these words and find no truth,
Test these lies and find all honesty.
Test boundaries of thinking. Ask and ask and ask some more. Do not draw conclusions for they mean nothing,  just keep testing,  exploring,  finding and destroying,  losing and rebuilding.

Clarity

If what I say makes a bit of sense to you, run. 

Cover your ears and don't look back. 

I'm not the wise all knowing sage that you need. 

I am a dark, twisted, shell of a magician, looking for truth where there is little to be found. 

My methods are my own and they lead me through layers of space and time and turmoil to where I am today. 

Tomorrow is not to be known, it is to be found,  to be experienced,  to be lost in the whirling void of sound and color that is life.  

These moments are but specks of dust on the surface of the great cosmic eye, and all we know will be wiped clean in a single blink.

This is Living?

Can we not move, grow, inspire, create, accomplish, live?

Sitting in stagnation, fermenting thoughts rot and sour our bodies.
The difficulties of achieving anything seem magnified through the pessimistic world views fed to us every day. escape this viscous cycle, stop eating the regurgitated vomit of information that is fed to you. Take a risk for once and try something new, make an effort to improve a problem, anything. Take small steps if you must to test the waters or dive in head first, every step towards change is all that matters. When society is fed up with itself, when people have grown sluggish, pessimistic, and apathetic, it is time to break free. Whats stopping you? scared of falling? where would you go? your toes hover but inches from the cold stone floor already, fear not. Fear the work, the exhaustion? Are you not exhausted already? Why are you even reading this? Go, now.

One step each is all it takes to move the world.

Things forgotten

Death to expectation
Rain on this nation,
For the people
By the lost
By the last
Forever
Forever for the past
Swimming circles in the empty space of time.
This hollow life was never mine